Thursday, November 13, 2008

This too, shall pass..

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Instead, I've come face to face with Q2 and Black November.

What's Black November, you say? Well, the days are getting shorter, and what with being in class all day, you don't get to see the sunlight very often. And if you do, it's still cold out. It's also the month that everything hits all at once.

Every single day, there's an increasingly longer and longer list of things to do. Classes, recruiting, home, family & holidays. It doesn't help that resume drop deadlines are fast approaching, and I'm stuck in a cover-letter writing quagmire.

And Q2 has that ill-fated trifecta of classes -- at least for me -- Global Economic Markets, Financial Accounting, and Financial Management & Policy. As someone who didn't come from a finance or quantitative background, I gotta say - I'm struggling to keep up. There's a ton of reading, which most of the former bankers and finance mavens can skip, but I can't.

Last week, I reached my breaking point. There was just so much pressure to read, understand, and perform in areas that I just wasn't comfortable in. Even after reading the cases, going to Learning Team, and attempting to process the information post-LT, it just wasn't clicking.

That was when I had my minor meltdown. We're talking a sobbing, furiously angry, frustrated meltdown.

For those of you who know me IRL, I know - I can hear what you're thinking. Sania doesn't break down in the face of pressure. It's just not me. My typical attitude is to claw down whatever is in my way, come hell or high water.

And yet, Darden has shown me time and time again that I'm so far outside of my comfort zone right now, that anything is possible. It's a bit strange to be so vulnerable. But it's also teaching me to be a better person.

When I'm feeling myself slip, I remind myself of the following quote*:

"Stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends and your daily routines, you are forced into direct experience. That's not always comfortable but it is always invigorating." - Michael Crighton

If you think about it, it's true. It's not easy, but it's true. Every new moment, every new trial, even every tear - it'll allow me to grow, stretch, evolve.

And maybe one of these days, I'll figure out what's going on in Financial Accounting. Until then, it's time to take another deep breath and plug on.

* I found this quote in an excellent BusinessWeek article I read when I was considering coming to Darden. It's a really great & accurate picture of what goes on here. Check it out here.

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